Can Bad Sex Make You Sick?
Isn’t life easier when you’re having great sex? Isn’t your step lighter and your mind clearer? Don’t you feel healthier and more vital? According to Chinese medicine, superior sex is the most effective form of preventive medicine. On the flip side, an unhappy bedroom results in poor health. As an acupuncturist and healer, I have helped hundreds of patients see how better sex produces healthier bodies and souls.
Case in point: Ellen and Bob. Ellen needed help because of a chronically running nose, cough, and trouble sleeping. Bob had a severe case of psoriasis and a tendency to strain muscles and tendons. They were engaged, but Ellen was having second thoughts: “When we first met, Bob was sensitive, patient, and kind. But he’s hardened. He doesn’t listen anymore, and he gets mad a lot.” Ellen felt lonely and scared. Bob was unhappy too: “I don’t know what happened to her. I used to love her spontaneity and sense of adventure. But now she’s always tired.”
Ellen was a sculptor whose career was taking off. Her long hours taxed her mental and physical stamina. Bob was a personnel director who spent his days listening and empathizing. When they were together Ellen had difficulty expressing herself and Bob had no empathy left over.
Ellen’s sexual desire had gone into hiding. She took much longer to get aroused and needed more caressing than when she was stronger. On the other hand, Bob was in high gear from the get-go and ejaculated more and more quickly, sometimes so fast that it embarrassed him. When he did get Ellen into bed, she would be undemonstrative, greeting anything new or creative as if it were toxic.
In other words, Bob was using sex to release tension, and the stress between them was making his psoriasis even worse. Going along for the ride further weakened Ellen’s physical condition. Just as she was getting aroused, Bob would climax and she’d be left feeling agitated and sad.
How to help? I explained to Bob the importance of delaying orgasm, not just for his fiancée’s pleasure, but also for his own well being, and coached him in ways to achieve that goal. This new approach enabled him to relax while making love and gave him greater control over his impulse to ejaculate quickly, which made intercourse something for Ellen to look forward to rather than dread. Bob’s aggression dissipated along with his physical symptoms, and so did the anxiety that had weakened Ellen’s lungs and kept her awake at night.
Never underestimate the power that sexual passion has to enhance the emotional bond between lovers. It alters blood chemistry. Lovemaking reduces fear and anger, coating the rough edges with an overall afterglow.
Want to take one small step toward re-energizing your passions? Try this tonight: When you first see your mate, make the first act between you a kiss that lasts ten seconds. It will probably brighten your whole day. I guarantee if you bring home a big sloppy kiss for your beloved every day, you’ll both be astonished by the results.
Are you starting to lose your enthusiasm for lovemaking?
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A daily ten-second kiss is a GREAT idea. Even adding an extra couple of seconds to the typical peck-on-the-cheek can be transformational. My husband and I have a daily ten-minute commitment to physical, emotional and spiritual connection. We call it “Peaceful Passion” and teach a program called Tantra Tai Chi that helps couples create their own intimate commitment. Yes, life is definitely easier and happier with great sex!