It all started out just great didn’t it? She was into you, you were into her. Every body had pink cheeks and even the dullest of chores could be accomplished with enthusiasm. You felt inspired, motivated, ready for anything. Most of all vital. Life was expressing its most magnificent aspects through your every move. “There were birds all around but you never heard them ringing, no you never heard them at all till there was” HER. Life is at its most colorful when we love. Springtime can be found in every season.
So how did her PMS creep into the picture? When did you notice that the birds were not singing as often? And what is it that gets them singing in the first place. I mean something must be going on to make her look that good. And something must not be going on as much when her glow has died down and the “honeymoon phase” is over.
The sense of renewal that we feel with a new love is not just a psychological phenomenon. The body makes chemicals that create physiological change thereby inducing affection, a sense of warmth, sexual yearning and inner peace. For example, oxytocin is a hormone generally understood to support the release of a mother’s milk. When a woman feels that “let down” reflex and her breasts suddenly tingle with milk for her baby this is the primary hormone involved. Interestingly enough, love researchers are noticing that this little protein-based molecule is found in large numbers in newly infatuated men. Initial experiments teach us that the feelings of warmth used to enhance a woman’s experience of nursing are very similar to those to the emotions a newly appointed prince feels for his princess.
Unfortunately, the chemical boost that we feel with those first few sacred years of intimate relationship dissipates. Scientists are working on separating the hormones and enzymes necessary to create these experiences. One of these days you will be able to buy a spray bottle whose contents will bring back feelings of the “good old days”. Until then, a man must understand what makes her tick if he wants to keep that initial passion burning.
For my live February event, I will be hosting a class in Los Angeles Titled “Intimacy, Sex, and Spirituality~ How Women Work”. I will be teaching all about how to keep women inspired to make love! www.sexualitysalon.com
In my next blog entry I will teach you about seduction, and how to keep the flame burning decades into a committed relationship.
So why is it only that men must understand what makes a woman tick? Is this to suggest that women have no responsibility to understand what makes a man tick? What if a man understands what makes a woman tick, but even doing everything right, nothing is good enough for her?
Nicely written Dr. Dunas, and nice injection of humor. It might be helpful as well to talk about vasopressin in another blog post.
I also would recommend this video (http://bit.ly/9tbATp) by Karliss Ulliss, M.D. for anyone looking for a more in depth explanation of what oxytocin is and how it affects the body and mind.